Without A Net

When contemplating my weekend, I came to the conculsion that going to a bar sober is, in a way, like walking a tightrope without a net.

 

What's that you say?  Take my fruity metaphors and stick them where?  Well, fuck you!

 

I'm not sure about anyone else, but when I get banged up, I am capable of doing some crazy shit.  Not bat-shit crazy, retardedly violent crazy, or creepy crazy- just crazy in the sense that, if done sober, my actions may raise a few eyebrows.  Some examples include dancing on tables, doing "the worm" at wedding receptions (well, I've done that sober ,so maybe that's a bad example), leading the bar in some sort of chant or sing-a-long, or doing an impromptu jam session with the band at my 5 year high school reunion.  Basically anything that makes me the center of attention- occasionally having fun at other people's expense- but probably wouldn't get me arrested (the upcoming "College Panek" section will address the rare exception). 

Being at the bar sober on Saturday, I didn't have a strong urge to draw much attention to myself.  I was content to relax in the corner seat of our booth and watch the drunken comedy unfold before me.  However, as the night rolled on, I thought to myself "If I were to start dancing on a table right now, or tried to get everyone singing along to "Shipping Up To Boston", everyone I came with would think I'm actually a crazy person."  Would that be so bad?  Well, no- not really.  I've never really been that concerned about what other people think of me (sometimes to Michelle's dismay), so why not draw a little attention to myself?  I busted out some dance moves on Saturday, which was just as fun as drunken dancing (although my drunk moves were probably a little better), so next time I go out without the drank stripping away my inhibitions, I think I'm going to act up a little more and see what it's like.  One of the points of this little exercise (which I keep adding as I go...it's my perrogative!) was to prove to myself that I could still have fun and go out with my friends when not under the influence.

 

Even though I had a good time, It was a little unsettling that I didn't have the excuse "I was drunk" to fall back on in case I managed to piss someone off.   

 

However insignificant it might seem, it was always in the very back of my mind- after all, I've been at the same routine for 10 years now.  While I think it's a legitimate excuse to explain away silly behavior such as accidentally spilling beer on somebody's shirt, telling a story really loudly over and over again (guilty as charged!), or making a comment without thinking that someone takes the wrong way, I don't believe that being drunk allows one to write a blank check for mayhem.  After all, the reason I (and most people I know) drink is to make myself feel funny, become a bit less coordinated, and reduce my inibitions to the point where I want to cause a mild scene- not become a menace to society.   A little spillage and the occasional loud or off-color remark come with the territory.   Still, after taking a step back, I guess I should probably either use that excuse a little less when I return to the realm of boozy pleasures, or try not to be quite as much of a buffoon.

 

Granted, being sober probably eliminates 99 percent of the silly crap I do at bars that might unintentionally annoy my friends, but it's still hard to get used to not having that one multi-purpose excuse to explain away any and all transgressions- walking that tightrope without a net.   After all, old habits die hard.  I guess I'll just have to take more responsibility for my actions like a sucker!