Let's Go Goats!

So I went to the first game of the Caps/Rangers playoff series last night, and I'm beginning to think that fate wants me to drink.

After all, I was the only one at dinner last weekend who got a shitty meal and receive an incorrect bill, and the Caps, who took 7 out of a possible 8 points in the regular season series, decided to throw up a stinker to kick off the series, thanks to Jose "Three-Or-More" allowing some fairly questionable goals (see below) with my sober ass in attendance.

Eh, whatever- I'm sure it's just a coincidence. After all, judging by the wait staff, I probably wasn't the only person who got a jacked up bill. Plus, there were about 20,000 other people who saw the same game as I did last night- and many of them were definitely NOT abstaining from alcohol.

Now, I usually behave myself at Caps games, with a few exceptions where I may have been a beligerant drunken lunatic. Generally speaking, though, I'll enjoy 3-5 beers, "rock the red", cheer for Ovie and the boys, and head home, so being sober at the game last night wasn't really that much of a stretch. However, the combination of my sobriety and the fact that last night's game was the beginning of the playoffs, which definitely takes the intensity (and inebriation) at the Verizon Center up a notch, certainly made the drunken antics around me stand out a good bit more than usual.

I've probably been to about 6-7 Caps games this year, and never saw anyone ejected from the arena. Last night, I saw a group of screaming, ornery Rags fans bounced after 1 period. During the second intermission, I saw a 50-something gentleman in an Ovechkin jersey, waiting in line for the bathroom, execute a perfect "hip check" on a passing Ranger fan- probably in his mid 20's. Nearly knocked the him off his feet! The Rags fan and his buddy- from the look of them a couple of hardscrabble Ney Yawkas- were not amused. I thought for sure that a fight was gonna break out, but the 2 Youts decided it wasn't worth it (I think the one guy said "You're lucky you're old as fuck!).

In other words, playoff hockey + beer = fun!

So Tommy has a pair of season tickets, so I've gone with him to enough games where I'm pretty familiar with the section regulars. There's "Asian Sam Kinison", a chubby 20-something dude who sits a row behind us who, until the first time I turned around, I thought from the sound of his voice was going to be a red-faced 50 year old man. There's a fairly normal couple- the chick's got a bit of a Lisa Loeb vibe goin' on, and the dude always wears a green hat.

Then there's "Let's Go Goats"...

The guy who sits a couple seats down from us is a giant grizzly bear of a man. From his appearance, he's probably in his 40's, with a goatee, beady eyes and a red Caps jersey with no name. No matter what day of the week the Caps play, this guy is double-fisting beers. He polishes them off, 2 at a time, and before we even realize it, he's back with 2 more. At 7 bucks a beer, 41 home games, and probably about 6-8 beers a game- you can imagine how much this wildebeast spends on beers during a typical Caps season. A few more seasons of this guy and Ted Leonsis can buy the Nats!

So about halfway through the game, this guy starts going ballistic. It generally doesn't really matter if the Caps are winning- he's going ape shit about some percieved slight against the Caps. His rallying cry of "LET'S GO CAAAAAPS!" becomes so garbled that Tom pointed out that it sounds like "LET'S GO GGGOAAAATS!!!" I just marvel at how consistent he is- the guy does the EXACT same thing at prety much every game I've attended.

Last night, however, he managed to top himself. We thought it was strange that he rolled in with a large cola...until we noticed that he was drunker than usual. There was definitely some bourbon in that bad boy. As soon as the Coke was gone, the usual double fisting and "LET'S GO GOATS!!!" chants started up. By the time the game was over, Goats wasn't even speaking English. Once it became apparent the Caps were going to drop game 1, he kept turning to the people behind him and speaking jibberish- something to the effect of "Theze peeeeple, I hate 'em...just gotta be like me....I gotta hate em..."

The funny thing is, I bet Let's Go Goats is some kind of important executive who opts to sit in cheaper seats and spend the difference on thousands of beers.

Before I go, here's Alex Ovechkin attempting to sing the "Eastern Motors" jingle.