T-Minus 24 Hours

So I decided the clock is officially started on the "no drink zone".

Yeah, there's no point in delaying it any longer- it'll just make it harder to start next week. Weird, since I'm typically all about procrastination...waiting till the last minute just feels oh so right! I've been less inclined to put things off since I decided to try and pull off December 23rd Christmas shopping...at Tyson's Corner. It took me almost 2 hours to drive 5 miles that day; you best believe I did some drinking as soon as I got home.

It's funny, I told myself that I was gonna just pick a month where it didn't seem like any big parties or any gatherings involving more than 3 of my college buddies (I'm only human, for God's sake!), so April looked like a winner. I also told myself that no month, no matter how innocuous it seems, will be free of temptations to stray from the straight and narrow and walk the path of the Weekend Warrior.

In a perfect world, I'd go about my business, have a quiet, relaxing month with Michelle and hope I don't have any brew-shakes on the first weekend. However, being that I don't live in a cave in Kandahar, situations that would typically involve drinking will inevitably find me. Sure enough, I've already been invited to a happy hour (tonight), another happy hour (tomorrow), and beers and NCAA basketball (Saturday).

Now, I've been contemplating how I'd handle it when the dranks came-a-callin' since I decided to take on this seemingly easy yet every so difficult task, and I came to the conclusion that I'm just gonna try and roll like a regular "Joe No-Pack".

I mean, I'd like to think my friends are still going to invite me to stuff, even if they may not get as much intentional and unintentional comedy out of me. I think as long as I avoid certain situations that almost necessitate some heavy duty drinking, I can get through this month pretty easily. Some of these include:

Socially Awkward/Forced Situations
I can't stand being in a situation where I'm in a social situation with a person and they either won't talk or won't shut the hell up. Yeah, there's no way I'm ever abandoning that abuse of alcohol. I'm pretty sure that type of situation is why ancient civilizations discovered alcohol in the first place. Better avoid all strangers entirely, just to be on the safe side.

All-Day Drinking Festivals
This one goes without saying, I guess, but figured I'd mention these because they used to be something I really looked forward to. Nothing quite like being 4 beers deep before noon; it seems like the day will never end...until you suddenly wake up in a strange place with one shoe on*

*Partially based on true events

Anyway, I don't think I really like the big all day drunken debacles like Shamrockfest here in DC anymore. Maybe it's the fact that I have a diminished tolerance for meatheads with popped collars and chicks vomiting on their shoes on the metro at 7 am. Call me old fashioned. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to chase these teenagers off my lawn.

The Virginia State Beer Pong Tournament
Okay, okay- you get the idea.

Yeah, the more I think about my drink free April, the more I think that it's mainly gonna be about getting used to a new routine. I think doing something every weekend for a number of years has just gotten me into the habit of bending the elbow (at some point I'm going to run out of drinking metaphors!) on a regular basis. I tend to find change scary and confusing at times, and I think this is no different than how I've handled a number of things in my life. Michelle's been very helpful to me in this regard- thanks to her, I discovered I like broccoli, enjoy going to spin class, and like more than one sandwich at the Lost Dog Cafe- I think having her around will do wonders for my little alcoholic challenge.

So, I think what I'll do is lay low tomorrow, watch some basketball with my friends while sipping on a coca cola (and possibly overeating...Rome wasn't built in a day), and hit up brunch with my friend on Sunday in lieu of Friday happy hour. Looks like everything's wrapped up in a nice little package! This should be no problem at all.

...but I know it won't be that easy.