Nnnyello!

"To alcohol; the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems"
-Homer Simpson

No poem, no work of art- no Irish drinking song for that matter, has ever nailed it quite like Homer.

I've experienced the roller coaster ride of weekend boozing for over a decade now, and I think it would be an understatement to say that it's been quite a ride.
It's bought me a night in the drunk tank in college, introduced me to friends I will have for my entire life, given me countless bumps and bruises in occasionally hilarious fashion, and put me face to face with the woman I love (over a sugary cocktail with a glowing ice cube).
It's given me an enhanced sense of humor and made me feel invincible, made me slightly better at pool and bowling, given me some of the worst headaches I've ever had, and a spare tire that reminds me of my weekend revelry with every jiggle.

I've been through a lot with good old boozerini- some of which I wish I remember, some I'm probably better off not knowing- but I think it's about time I gave my liver a break. I'm 32 years old, and I recently came to the realization that since my freshman year in college, I've abstained from weekend drinking approximately 10 times. Wow. Fuck a break, my liver deserves a medal! That tough little summamabitch has been workin' O-VER-TIME.

SO, I'm taking a month off. Starting on April 1st, I will venture into uncharted territory. No beer, no wine, no JOOSE (don't ask) shall touch these lips. And for you, good reader, I will keep a running journal of my experience.

I'm gonna start by filling you in on my last 2 weeks of drinking, which will include the opening weekend of the NCAA Basketball Tournament, which has been one of my biggest excuses to swill everything in sight and become a stark raving madman. If you're lucky, you may even get a drunk post...if you're really lucky you'll be able to make sense out of it!

Come April Fools Day, though, we'll find out what I'm made of, and I'll be happy to have you along for the ride. I'll track my weight loss, rate my mood on a scale of 1 to 5 Barney Gumbels, and post some pics that reflect my mental state- my "state of Panek", if you will.

More to come!

Cheers